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A weblog covering the San Diego Padres.

Friday, September 03, 2004

The Shampoo Effect...

What is the Shampoo Effect you ask? Simply stated, wash, rinse, repeat. It's right there on the bottle, just read it sometime. It's going out on a Friday night, having a few libations, descending into an alternate reality culminating with a late night visit to the porcelain for a shouting match, then upon waking from the cold tile, a bit of hair of the dog to right the ship. Suddenly the alternate reality is back. Last night's game fell hind end over tea kettle into The Shampoo Effect...

Wash, rinse, repeat. First inning, home run, walk, home run. Seriously. I didn't imagine this. Please tell me I am imagining this. How can you possibly have two consecutive first innings like this? Three nothing.

Wash, rinse, repeat. Clutch hitting, men in scoring position, still three nothing. Wow. At this rate I won't need to post anymore. I can simply cut and paste the posts from the previous days. Better yet, I can just reference the prior posts, see: Yesterday. It will be an auto pilot blog.

Let me propose a solution. Now, I have played plenty of baseball in my day. I 'd like to think that as far as athletic ability goes, I was slightly better than proficient at the game. I'd also like to think that I have a better than general understanding of the game. So, that being said, who is taking charge of this pitching staff? Oh, you need a bit of perspective, O.K. try this on: When the opposing team has four generally accepted all-stars who are crushing your pitching night after night and depositing baseballs into the outfield bleachers like a meteor shower, it is plain to see that they are way too comfortable at the dish. It is beyond me to even put into words how comfortable the Cards were at the plate. When hitters are that comfortable at the plate you have exactly two options. 1) Let them continue to provide employment to Haitian baseball manufacturers or 2) Throw the baseball at their heads. Yes. You can read it again if you want to but it still says the same thing. Throw it at their heads. Now the idea here isn't to hit and or injure a superstar baseball player, that's not what I am saying. But, anyone who has ever played the game will tell you that when a baseball is flying at your head and you hear that distinctive whistling hiss as the pill nearly detatches your cranium from your shoulders causing you to make nice with the dirt, you get a bit, well, slightly uncomfortable. Uncomfortable hitters don't consistantly hit home runs. We got swept because no one thought of this, or they were frightened like schoolgirls and didn't want to ruffle any feathers. In either case, we got swept. Swept. Next...

September sweeps are good. September sweeps are better when you are in a playoff chase. September sweeps guarantee that Freddy Guzman and Ramon "I've been here for years and still do nothing" Vazquez get loads of playing time. If management decided to cash in this season in the midst of a playoff chase, they could at least give us a reason why. An explanation if you will, that's all I ask.

Back home to retire T's number. Weekend roundup later...


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